Geek on Two Wheels

My family keeps a tiny aquarium of three goldfish.  Two are stubby, have tiny fins, and move about more by waddling than swimming.  The third resembles a tiny golden carp with the behind of a Fantail, and is larger than the others combined.

It’s also a huge asshat.

The three fish are housed in a pathetically (but not quite unethically) small aquarium, and have only each other for amusement.  Now, I don’t know what goldfish or carps usually do for amusement when not being fed, but I’ve often noticed the largest of the three using the others to play what I’ve dubbed Upside-Down Fish.  The rules are simple: pick a fishmate, chase it into a corner, use the aquarium wall to flip your mate over and push it to the surface, then see how long you can keep it upside-down.

Remember those old-timey cartoons where sometimes a bully would pick up a smaller guy, roll him into a ball, then use him to play hoops or knock down some pins?  It’s exactly like that.  Except it’s only slightly funny, and mostly just mean.

In the words of the wise animal sanctuary warden:

Well, animals are not like people, Mrs. Simpson. Some of them act badly because they’ve had a hard life, or have been mistreated…but, like people, some of them are just jerks.

When I was growing up in China, there was a weekly SciFi radio show that was along the lines of Power Rangers. I listened to it religiously, and it featured the Beverly Hills Cop theme music as the opening score.

To this day, whenever I hear that tune, I think giant battle robots.

I have been job hunting for the better part of six months now.  Taking the overall health of the job market into account, this doesn’t seem like a big deal.  However, as a new graduate who qualified for but managed to miss the opportunity to receive employment insurance benefits, the whole thing is an ongoing ordeal that has been crippling, exhausting, demoralizing, and confusing.

It’s this last point that I would like to elaborate on: why is there such an asymmetry of expectations for job seekers when compared to those in positions to hire?

(Of course, there is a clear difference in the volume of applications an employer may receive and how many simultaneous application processes an employee-hopeful is going through at the moment.  Let’s assume that the in-person interview has happened, and there is no expectation of a follow-up interview.)

Through the various career preparation courses and workshops I have had to endure, there was a consistent message that I, as a job seeker, should do my best to research and learn more about the potential employer and the position in question before sitting down at the interview.  However, in most cases, the true nature of a position is not revealed until the interview is happening, and, all things considered, this is reasonable.  What isn’t reasonable is the fact that employers are not held up to the same expectations.

Truth be told, half the time, I am unconvinced my interviewer has even read my relatively short, 1.2 page resumé beyond scanning the headers.  I am, however, fairly convinced that none have taken the time actually investigate my open source work.  Some don’t even seem to understand that I had just finished school, and unlikely to have years of professional experience.

However, this is a minor annoyance compared to the lack of communication following an interview.  Despite the promises of “get back to you next week” and “staying in touch”, only some ever do.   I am not expecting feedback on my interview performance or tips on how to do better next time; a courtesy one-liner will suffice. Paradoxically, but not surprisingly, the probability of being notified of a rejection seem to be inversely proportional to the size of the company in question.  Empirically, I have had exactly zero rejection messages from companies big enough to have dedicated HR staff.  Most of the smaller programming shops have been good in this respect, but the score is not quite perfect.

Granted, I have not requested for a response when none were received in the assured time frame.  And, frankly, why should I?  If I were responsible for making the final decision on a business transaction of such a scale, I will have the common courtesy to notify the other parties affected regardless of outcome.  However, as a job seeker, the expectation of such a reciprocation is apparently foolish.

The mind boggles.

I will end with this list of wishes and advice for employers:

• If you are collecting resumes over a month or more, and plan to have phone screenings, don’t leave it all until after the deadline.  We might not remember having applied with you at all.
• If you have brought in candidates in for face-to-face interviews with the expectation that the outcome is Hire or No Hire, do let them know regardless of the outcome.  You wouldn’t leave a business partner hanging like that, would you?
• Don’t take weeks making the final decision after the interviews are held.  In the odd chance there is a good reason, let people know.
• Research us.  If we have impressive stuff to show, we would, and it’s not always the case that it should belong on a resumé.
• Treat this with the same professionalism as you would any other business relationship.